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What Women Want: Listen With Your Heart.
By Gary Smalley
- Make and keep eye contact. Few things assure your loved one that you are listening
closely more than making eye contact. Without making it seem like you are staring through her, lock your
eyes on hers and listen to what she has to say.
- Cease all other activity. When your loved one wants to talk to you when
she has something very important to talk to you about and needs your undivided attention make
sure you can do it in an atmosphere free of other activity.
- Let your loved one know you are being attentive. In addition to keeping eye
contact, let her know that you are listening closely and attentively by acknowledging what she's
saying through head nods and other signs of attentiveness.
- Speak occasional words of agreement or understanding. While you listen to
your loved one, it is good to interject words that communicate that you understand how that person
feels. Simple statements such as, "I can see how you would feel that way," or "I would feel the
same way myself" can do much to communicate that you are listening with you heart.
- Ignore all interruptions. Sometimes a man and his loved one need to get
to a place where there is no chance they will be interrupted so they can jus talk. When you take
the time to listen with your heart, try to do it where you won't be interrupted.
How women say men can become experts at listening with their hearts:
- Solve problems with me, not for me."
- "Just listen. Give me a chance to voice my inner thoughts and feelings."
- "Listen without offering unsolicited advice or blame."
- "Teach me your problem solving skills."
- "If you don't understand what I'm saying, ask me questions."
- "Offer feedback that says you understand what I'm telling you."
- "Be compassionate as you listen."
- "Resist laughing or mocking me in what I have to say."
- "Offer me advice with humility."
- "Use facial expressions and body language so that I know you're really hearing me."
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Copyright © 2007 The Church Of Pentecost, USA, Inc. - Oakland Assembly. All rights reserved.
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