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Dating - Intimacy {How Much Is Too Much?}
By Tanisha L. Roebuck
Tim and Janice have been dating for almost a year now and the relationship couldn't have been
a better blessing from God, in having each other. Both Tim and Janice have experienced failed
relationships with non-Christians and want this relationship to be right. The love that they
have for God has been so attractive to one another. They pray together, they also witness
together and share so much in common. It was a month before they even kissed. It is like no
other relationship they had ever experienced before because both of them have God first and foremost.
However as they got to know one another, kissing led to hugging, then hugging was followed by
being sexually aroused until eventually they ended up falling into bed and committing fornication.
Now all of the things that drew them together are now jeopardized by their insecurities,
lack of trust and fleshly desires for one another.
This story happens every day where people go too far and fail to let God grow the relationship
in His time. Dr. Suzan D. Johnson Cook's states it best in her book, A New Dating Attitude,
"Dating is both getting to know a person with a view that the person might be the spouse God
intended for you, and letting yourself be revealed enough so that that person can be confident
that God has intended you for him."
Intimacy while dating is a very tempting situation. It's like playing chess with the evil one.
While most people in today's society would quickly say that kissing is harmless, if we are honest
with ourselves, we know that kissing leads to other things that tempt us into sexual immorality.
I turn you to Ephesians 6:12, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the
rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual
forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
It is only human nature to feel sexually attracted to another person that we connect with on
some level. However, becoming that intimate with someone not only grieves the Lord, but it
also creates soul ties or oneness with the other person. While sparks may fly and you feel
all tingling inside, what was once a divine connection you experienced, you also stand to lose
so much because you still have a lot to learn from one another, but now you've allowed Satan to
enter the camp.
As Christians we must understand, that God's plan is to bless us by giving us the desires of
our heart. However blessings do not come through disobedience to his word and the evil one
knows this, that's why he tries so hard to trip us up. When Tim and Janice started their
relationship it was all to the glory of God and they were doing good works in the Kingdom by
sharing His word with others. That's what God desires from us. It's also important to remember
what Paul wrote in Romans 7:21, "So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is
right there with me". Somewhere along the way, if we are not mindful, the flesh takes control.
The evil one's sole mission is to conquer and divide believers. These two people who love God
and are looking to unite for the purpose of furthering the work in His kingdom are targets for
the evil one. Although God is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins, Tim and Janice must
work backwards to set boundaries and keep His commandments.
With Christian dating, here are some tips to refrain from taking intimacy too far:
- Discuss and maintain boundaries founded on God's word;
- Avoid spending time alone in intimate settings during the dating process;
- Make sure that God remains the number one focus by praying and sharing scriptures
daily with each other and with others;
- When you find that your curiosity is getting the best of you, remember that
you can curse your blessing and destroy something that could be absolutely
beautiful with God as the head of your lives; and
- With God, ALL things are possible!
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Copyright © 2007 The Church Of Pentecost, USA, Inc. - Oakland Assembly. All rights reserved.
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